You are currently viewing How to Stay Positive in a Negative World | Messy Mom Podcast Ep 34

How to Stay Positive in a Negative World | Messy Mom Podcast Ep 34


How to Stay Positive in a Negative World

It’s been a minute (or several) since we have done a podcast but we are back! We know we’ve said it before but we have made some major upgrades to our podcast and our super excited to be back and on a more consistent schedule.

Today’s topic is an important one because as we get closer to the holidays, which should be a happy time can end up being very chaotic and challenging. With all the overwhelm, it can be hard to keep a positive mindset, especially with all the holiday fun crammed in at the end of the year on top of our jobs and being a mama. But it shouldn’t be that way!  

So, in today’s episode, we are covering our 7 top tips about how to stay positive in a negative world.

Top 7 Tips for Staying Positive in a Negative World

1. Identify Areas to Change 

Try to find areas in your life to change. Everyone’s going through something different, so try to find the spots in your life that you tend to be negative about. For example, for Cari it’s winter. The minute it drops below 50 degrees, it’s horrible. So, that’s where she is trying to find ways to change. She can still go outside but just dress appropriately or find new activities to do. For others, it could be your daily commute.

It’s about your thought process at that very moment, so try to find the bright spots in your days! For commuters, listen to a podcast or find something to learn more about. Take advantage of those extra 40 minutes.

2. Check-in with Yourself

During the day, stop and evaluate your thinking. Ask yourself…

  • How has your thinking process been throughout the day?
  • Has it been mainly negative or mainly positive?

We looked up “why are people so negative” and the conclusion was that it’s easier for you to be negative, just from a physical anatomy standpoint. We are naturally wired this way. Which is why being positive can be so challenging. So, if you check in with yourself each day and ask yourself those questions you can get into a positive habit.

3. How to Deal with Negativity

Find ways to lighten the mood, like adding a bit of humor. For Cari, her love language is sarcasm. And sarcasm and humor go a long way in her household. Even just throwing in a British accent or some sarcasm at moments, it’s crazy what that changes. The accent is horrible. But for some reason, the socks get picked up and no one is about to blow a gasket and we all work it out. It lightens the mood, helping make the situation more positive, not just for you but for your kids as well.

4. Follow a Balanced and Healthy Lifestyle as Much as Possible

This is probably a no-brainer coming from us, but try to follow a balanced and healthy lifestyle as much as possible. There have been a lot of studies that have shown that people who have been feeling down in the dumps for whatever reason if they move their body even for a couple of minutes, that can change the way that they feel and make them a more positive person if done on a consistent basis. The ideal scenario is 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week but again, some movement is always going to be better than nothing. And it can really change your mindset. 

If you’re really frustrated and you have the opportunity, get outside and go for a walk, change and switch your environment if you’re stuck inside. Also, try to fuel your body with a balanced diet.

The last thing is prioritizing sleep. This is something that Bailey is really proud to have improved this last year. In the early years of Crew’s life, she wasn’t doing this and she was tired all of the time, which is normal being a new mom. However, she wasn’t prioritizing sleep on top of that by staying up late, for “my time” and she suffered because of it. With sleep becoming a priority she regained her energy.

 5. Find What You Enjoy and Try Something New

You have to find what you enjoy and try new things. It doesn’t have to be lifting weights. Figure out what it is that works for you, in small doses. But get into the habit. So maybe, taking an hour fitness class doesn’t sound great, but 10 minutes might. And then, a couple of weeks later you might be like, this is good stuff. I should try 20. If you’re familiar with our program, Fit Mama in 30, that’s exactly why we started those 10-minute workouts, 20-minute workouts and increased them because it’s about getting into a good flow, finding something you want do, and gradually working your way into it.

6. Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

This is a hard one but a life-changing one, surround yourself with positive people. This isn’t saying to go kick all of your friends to the curb. So, even if the person isn’t positive, is it someone who’s trying to work on that? Do they have something going on where they are good about flipping the situation and still can be positive in their life. Figure out how to spend more time with those people who always make you feel good because their outlook and their attitude. If you are constantly drained by some of the people in your life, then minimize your time and set boundaries.

And on the same idea, it’s important to practice positive self-talk. Someone once told us, “Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.” And maybe even take it a step further. “Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your son or daughter.” We have to give ourselves way more grace and stop with that kind of attitude. Sometimes we are our own worst critics. It’s easy to be mean to ourselves, so when someone gives you a compliment, take it and run with it!

7. Have Some Margin in Your Life

The final point is to have some margin in your life. It’s super easy this time of year to be a “yes man” and try to do all the things. But use the word no and stop overcommitting even if it’s things you want to do. This is a hard season to do it in, think about how many different Christmas activities you could do in one week? If you wanted to do every activity that you either thought would be cool to do as a family or your kids wanted to do, there’s no margin. There is no space to just be. And that’s when we find ourselves getting very overwhelmed and negative.

It can be really hard to say no, but if you say yes to everything then you have no time for yourself or your family and that’s when you can become really stressed out. It’s important to remember that no is a complete sentence, you don’t have to give a reason behind it, have those boundaries for yourself.

Someone once told Bailey, just because you are free does not mean you are available. Especially if you’re someone who constantly says yes. 

For example, every Sunday Cari sits down, looks at her week ahead and figures out where are those spaces we don’t need to be somewhere at a certain time. That for her is the margin. Where in the week are we not scheduled to be somewhere doing something with someone or some activity.

Someone once told Bailey, just because you are free does not mean you are available. Especially if you’re someone who constantly says yes. 

Changed Outlook and Final Thoughts

Now, trying to take on all of these tips at the same time would become overwhelming. Starting picking one or two of these and make that your weekly focus than trying to do all everything because you can’t. Let’s face it, we all get into habits and we’re all moms. You can’t change yourself in a week. It has to be slow and it has to be progressive. You don’t have to do all of these things to be a more positive person. These are just some tips that you can take with what resonates with you.

We hope this was helpful. We thought this would be a great topic especially this time of year. So, see what you can do with it. It’s not going to be perfect. Nothing ever is. It’s messy! This is only the beginning of our conversation on how to stay positive in a negative world. Listen to the full episode on wherever you get your podcasts.

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